Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Tales of the T




Verbose
So tonight I’m riding the orange line around 9:00 heading home from giving a presentation on small business marketing to a group of Christian entrepreneurs. I’m always nervous when I’m asked to be a guest speaker, because I worry that I won’t have enough to say. As usual, however, I went on for way longer than they wanted me to. They asked me to speak for 30 minutes with another 30 minutes for group discussion; I ended up speaking for about 50 minutes and then did 30 minutes of group discussion. Even though I went way over, I only lost one! One lady who makes calendars had to leave about 10 minutes before we finished. Anyhow, I digress.

Whino
After the presentation I was wiped out and looking forward to a nice, quiet trip home. I got on the orange line at State Street, and I was surprised how many people were on the train at that time of night. I guess more people are taking public transit nowadays because of the high gas prices. Anyhow, I was standing near the back of the car and seated near me were a young 20-something couple and their 2 or so year old daughter. The girl was very manic. She was standing on her daddy’s legs and she was going from bouncing up and down on him laughing and giggling to pouting to whining to screaming back to laughing, all in the space of a minute. This went on for several minutes, with the parents offering encouragement while she was happy and the dad ignoring and the mom voicing frustration while she was whiny and screamy.

Smackdown
Finally, in frustration, the girl slapped her dad, not hard, just kind of a smack. This brought her scolding from both parents and the cycle repeated again, with the slapping becoming a permanent part of it between the screaming and the laughing. Then, during one of the cycles, she smacked a guy standing on the train next to them. I was prepared for fisticuffs to ensue, but it became immediately apparent that the guy was with them, either a friend or brother of the dad. He tickled the girl and then said something about her dad teaching her bad things, then he proceeded to play slap the dad! Then the dad play slapped the friend and they went back and forth for a minute laughing and joking, and the mom joined right in!

Not As I Do
I know these kids were young, and this is most likely their first, and right now only, child, but can’t they understand the cause/effect of their behavior? How are they supposed to tell their daughter that it’s not okay to hit, even in jest, when they are doing it right in front of her? I hope that these parents wake up and learn the “lead by example” lesson before the girl gets big enough to do some real damage.

Etc
Summer's in full swing in Stoneham. The pool's open, feels great, and I'm remembering why I like summer (sometimes).

The web site project is up and running. Now to get people signed up for it...

I have this recurring dream where I wake up and Jesse Jackson is standing over me with a carving knife. That's not weird, is it?

Groan (tonight's is particularly relevant with the presidential campaign in full swing)
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Monday, July 7, 2008

What's In My Inbox

You've probably gotten these "warning" type e-mails before: don't flash your lights at cars that don't have their headlights on because they might be gang members and kill you; don't stop your car to check out a flyer stuck to your back window because it might be a carjacker; don't pull over for an unmarked cop car flashing blue lights; don't accept any wooden nickels; don't leave your house on any night with a full moon when it's foggy and at least two American league leaders are playing under-.500 National league teams; don't fear the reaper; etc.

And thanks to my good friend James Everett McPherson III (aka "Flea") we now have reason to fear Home Depot. Well, maybe "fear" isn't the right word. Read on...

---------------------------------------------

Be Careful - A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naïve enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two very hot 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your stuff into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.

It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead they ask you for a ride to Lowe's. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th & 29th. Also April 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. WalMart has wallets on sale, $2.99 each.

-----------------------------------------------

Thanks for the "warning" Flea! Anyone need some molding or a new leaf blower??