Wednesday, October 31, 2007

BOO!

The Tall Man

Happy Halloween. I spent the night giving out candy and then I made poor Bill watch Phantasm. I saw it when I was a kid and remember being very scared; this time I laughed my head off.

Free Candy

We had a bunch of trick-or-treaters tonight. I sat on the porch with the CD player blasting spooky music and was very generous with the candy. What’s up with these kids nowadays? I had to make them say “trick or treat” and half of them didn’t even wear costumes! Even the ones that did were half-assed. The exception was Joey, the 4 year old from next door. His parents did him up in a very convincing Dracula, complete with the slicked hair and fangs. He came by twice, so I filled him up both times, plus gave him a 100 Grand bar and a Twix bar from my “private” stash. Hey, the costume effort should count for something, right?

Decorations


This is Marcus the Carcass trying to rise from his grave in our yard.


This is our inflatable jack-o-lantern and ghosts. One group of girls trick-or-treating posed and took pictures by this.


This is a jack-o-lantern that our new neighbors next door (Joey’s parents) brought over when they were leaving their house to go to a party. Isn’t the Frankenstein carving the coolest thing you’ve ever seen? The one on the left was taken without the flash so you can see the spooky carving; the one on the right is with the flash so you can see the jack-o-lantern.

Sour Grapes

So did you notice how, in the middle of the fourth and final game of the World Series, the stupid Yankees decide to announce that A-Hole isn’t coming back next season? Then the next day they announce Girardi as the manager, then Mattingly isn’t coming back. Give me a break! The Yankees are like a spoiled little kid that can’t stand that his brother or sister is getting all the attention, so he starts stirring up stuff to basically say, “Look at me! Look at me!!” How pathetic are they?

It kills them that the best team in baseball, their rivals, dominate the Series, so they try to grab the headlines for themselves. It’s piteous, really.

No Sleeping in The City

Even though I hate the Yankees, I love the city that they’re from! Bub and I have been planning to meet in New York City this weekend for months now. We’re staying with some friends of his in Brooklyn who have promised to show us a good time. I leave first thing Friday morning and I’ll be back in time for the Patriots-Colts super matchup on Sunday. One of these days I have to go spend some quality time in New York. Both times I’ve been, and now this time, too, it’s for 48 hours or less! That might work if you want to see, say, Wichita, Kansas, but not so much New York. Although I do get an extra hour this time because of daylight saving time ending on Saturday night.

Etc

It’s finally nice and cold. Now waiting for the snow to start. I know, I’m weird…

I got my first “happy holidays!” today. It just gets earlier and earlier every year. The person who said it to me, I’m not going to see until January, but it still struck me as odd.

Jonathan Papelbon is on Letterman tonight. I hope he doesn’t get booed off the stage. It is taped in New York, you know…

Well, Bill is snoozing on the couch and I want to go watch J-Pap dance on Letterman, so I’m out.

Friday, October 26, 2007

The Weekly Roundup

Burning Bushes
Despite Progress, California Fires Still Pose Threat
My heart goes out to the people of southern California. I heard from my friend Celino today and his family is safe with no loss of property, although they did have to evacuate. Here’s hoping the weather starts to cooperate and settles the area again.
(New York Times)

Ayatollah Redux
Iranians Dismiss New U.S. Sanctions
I don’t know what the answer is here. All I know is that Iran cannot amass a nuclear arsenal without serious consequences for the world. And I don’t understand why they can’t see that.
(New York Times)

Futile Errant Miscue Again
US disaster agency apologizes for fake 'reporters'
You’ve got to be kidding me! Nobody shows up for a press conference, so he has his employees pose as reporters and ask him questions. Here’s a guy with a serious CJ Cregg complex.
(Reuters)

Justice is Served
Genarlow Wilson Freed
The fact that this young man spent even one day in prison for consensual sex with a young lady two years his junior should invoke outrage in anyone who calls himself an American.
(ABC News)

Talking Turkey
U.S. and Turkey Thwart Armenian Genocide Bill
First, let me say that I am absolutely convinced that what happened to the Christian Armenian minority almost 100 years ago was indeed genocide. That having been said, the United States government passing a resolution calling it genocide is not going to make one single bit of difference to anyone who was harmed. It’s either genocide or it’s not. The fact of the US Congress agreeing to abide by the definition of genocide doesn’t change anything, and there are far greater problems that I would like the people who claim to earn my tax dollars focusing on.
(New York Times)

Coffee, Tea, or Chateaubriand?
Airbus ratchets up competition
And I thought that extra leg room in coach was a step up.
(Los Angeles Times)

Maybe They’ll Paint and Add Drapes, Too
Astronauts Add New Room to Space Station
Godspeed to our astronauts on the space station. Did you notice the press that the two women commanders are getting? I think NASA public affairs is trying to play up the non-psycho female astronauts for a change.
(Associated Press)

I Knew There Had to Be an Explanation for Danny Bonaduce
Some Neanderthals May Have Been Redheads
News flash: different genes have been around forever.
(Fox News)

The Pride of Baton Rouge
Hit the music, it's Papelbon time
Baton Rouge-born Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon continues to entertain, both on and off the mound. Besides being a sensational pitcher, it also seems now that he’s a hell of a fun guy. His Irish jig antics have all of Red Sox Nation dancing.
(MLB.com)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Things You Wish You Knew

I know you’re sitting there thinking, “Boy, I wish I knew more stuff.” Well, tonight you’re in luck because Dennis had to take the night off to watch Game 1 of the Series so I, Mr. Useless Facts Guy, am guest-blogging tonight.

According to Useless Facts and Statistics:

The billionth digit of pi is 9.
Canada imports approximately 822 Russian-made hockey sticks on an average day
The revolving door was invented in 1888
40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute
Montpelier Vermont is the only state capital without a McDonalds
78% of cats never travel with their owners
September 16-21 is Farm Animal Awareness week


According to Useless Statistics:

Odds of being killed by a dog: one in 700,000.
Odds of being killed by a tornado: one in 2,000,000.
Odds of being killed by falling out of bed: one in 2,000,000.
Odds of being killed in a car crash: one in 5,000.
Odds of being murdered: one in 20,000.
Odds of dying in the bathtub: one in 1,000,000.


According to Useless Facts > Statistics:

The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night
No president of the United States was an only child
314 Americans had buttock lift surgery in 1994
A can of SPAM is opened every 4 seconds
The average person makes about 1,140 telephone calls each year
13 people are killed each year by vending machines falling on them


I hope you have enjoyed this edition of Useless Facts. The Sox are up 13-1 in the bottom of the 7th. Go Sox!!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

What a Dogfight!

Sorry, unfortunate choice of title for what went on today between the Saints and the Falcons. But from what I’ve heard and seen, it’s accurate. All that matters is the final score, and the Saints prevailed, 22-16!!

I’ll Take Two Port-of-Call Burgers, and Maybe a Steak To Go

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I will announce here in this public forum that Mr. Mark Johnson, formerly of Atlanta (or thereabouts) owes me one dinner at Port-of-Call, a great little dive on the edge of the French Quarter, next time I make it down to New Orleans. Besides the burgers and steaks, they serve a great 32-ounce mix of rum and fruit juices called Neptune's Monsoon.

Not long after Mark and I became friends, we went to the Saints-Falcons game together, me in my Saints getup, he in his Falcons’. As you can imagine, there was the usual amount of smack-talk. The Saints were not doing well that year, and Mark was very confident that his pathetic little birds would win that game. We had planned on hitting Port of Call after the game, so I challenged him to put his money where his mouth was and thus began our twice-yearly bet. The Saints actually came back and won that game, and it’s been a standing bet ever since. Sometimes I feel bad, though, because the Saints, as blood-boiling as they can be, seem to have the Falcons’ number most of the time.

Mark, if you happen to read this, I’ll be in on November 24th and there for the week, so save up!

Workin’ for the Weekend

I wasn’t able to see the Saints-Falcons game today, nor the Patriots put a buttwhooping on the Dolphins today. This was our opening weekend of concerts, and we were in Worcester on Wednesday, at Sanders Theatre in Harvard on Thursday, at Jordan Hall in the New England Conservatory on Saturday, and today back at Sanders for our matinee. Everyone who showed up loved the concerts, although I think the reason we had so many seats sold but unfilled is because of the Red Sox series. It’s a shame, because the concerts were very good.

So now it’s time to rest for a day or so and then get ready for our next concert series, the weekend before Thanksgiving. This should be another good weekend of concerts; we’re doing the Schubert Unfinished and the Bruckner 5th. The Bruckner is not performed very often, but it is a powerhouse of a piece. Our conductor is really stoked about performing it.

So You Think You Can Dance?

It’s currently the bottom of the 8th in the seventh game of the ALCS and rookie Dustin Pedroia just hit a bases-clearing double to put the Sox ahead of the Indians, 9-2. Cleveland is changing pitchers; they have two outs but are up against the top of the Sox order. After this inning it will fall to the Baton Rouge-born closer, Jonathan Papelbon, to get us to the big dance. Then we’ll all get to see Jonathan dance again.

As I’m typing this, the Sox’ first baseman, Kevin Youkilis, hit a homer off the big Coke bottle over the Green Monster to score himself and Mr. Pedroia, so now the game is 11-2 Sox. Looked to be a nail-biter for most of the game, but with 6 runs scored this inning and 2 last inning, it’s opening up a bit.

It’s funny; when I first moved here I thought Youkilis must suck because the crowd would boo every time he stepped up to bat. Turns out he’s one of the clutch players and they’re yelling “YOOOOUUUUUUK!” A lot of times you can even hear it when they’re on the road, especially when they play somewhere like Baltimore, where not a lot of Orioles fans go to the games. ARE there a lot of Orioles fans? Hmmm.

Geaux Sox!

As I was posting this, bolding the subtitles and posting the links, the Sox got the last out and WON! My advice is to stay tuned, you never know what Papelbon is going to do next.

Friday, October 19, 2007

The Weekly Roundup

Rainy Friday
Good evening. Welcome to our third installment of The Weekly Roundup. I hope everyone out there in cyber-land is doing well tonight. It's warm, rainy, and windy in the Boston area, but I'm having a good night anyway. Bill and I went to eat at the Outback. I know, after my last post you think all I should be eating is baked fish and broiled chicken, but we are allowed the occasional indulgence. These meds they have me on are really good, and they don't even make you deaf (read on if you don't understand my meaning).

Have a great weekend, everyone. I'll be pretty busy with concerts and trying to keep up with the various sporting events that are going on. Geaux Sox! Geaux Saints! Geaux Patriots! DIE, Falcons!!!!!!!!

Highly Paid Escorts
Gates Seeks Changes On Iraq Contractors
This is a story that’s been getting some headlines recently. Rogue companies are taking weekend warriors and giving them minimal “training” then sending them over to Iraq to perform basic safety missions that are too minor for the military. These companies are paid billions of your tax dollars, and appear to be succeeding only in withering the confidence of the Iraqi people. It's good that Secretary Gates is doing his job and addressing this issue. Let’s hope he doesn’t screw it up, because if we lose the confidence of the Iraqi people, what chance to we have of getting out of this invented war with some national dignity left?
(Washington Post)

Another Score for the Corps
Drought-stricken Georgia says it will sue over water
The Corps is responsible for too much water in south Louisiana, and not enough water in northern Georgia. Am I the only one who sees the obvious solution?
(CNN)

Think You’re Tough?
Key to mental 'resilience' found
I knew there had to be a reason that Michael Jackson keeps bouncing back.
(BBC)

Unchecked Baggage
Air Force to punish 70 for nuke flight
As if Louisiana didn’t have enough problems, they fly armed nukes to Barksdale. How can so many people have screwed up so badly? Are they sending only the people with the brains overseas?
(USA Today)

What?
FDA adding hearing loss risk for impotence drugs
Is this going to lead to a new defense for sexual assault? “You see, your honor, my client had just popped his Viagra and couldn’t hear the victim when she said she had a headache.”
(Reuters)

Blockage
Comcast really does block BitTorrent traffic after all
The marketplace will take care of Comcast. There are tons of internet services out there, and if you don’t like yours telling you what you can and can’t download, check into another one. Eventually they’ll either get the message or go out of business.
(CNET)

Take This Job and Shove It
Managerial Search Starts, Ever So Slowly
The Yankees began the process of replacing Joe Torre today. Obviously, a guaranteed $5 million for a year with no guarantee of productivity on his end was an insult. How much money will it take, Joe? Enjoy your unemployment.
(New York Times)

Doggone
Ellen DeGeneres' Pooch Gets New Home
Now maybe I can get some sleep tonight.
(AP)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

…And Remember, It’s All Small Stuff

The passing this week of two people who loved life has made me remember the vow I made when I almost lost mine. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of the inanity and minutiae that life throws our way, and when I hear of people whose life was cut way too short it makes me think of what I almost lost.

Besides my friend Jes-Z, a high school classmate of mine, Scott Martinez, passed away after collapsing last Sunday. Unfortunately, I had not kept up with him but I remember him fondly as a guy who was always smiling and always had a kind word to say.

Stupidity

In March and April of 2003 while still living in New Orleans I was working for the Louisiana Philharmonic, and it was a very busy period. We had concerts almost every weekend, and most of these were concerts that were not part of our traditional series, which meant that extra work had to be put into them. Also, we were announcing our upcoming season and trying to sell subscriptions in addition to selling out the concerts we had then. On top of all that, I was involved in two major fund raisers, one for Bridge House and the other for Southern Repertory Theatre. I was co-chairing the major annual fund raiser for Bridge House, the Cochon Cotillion, which raises over $350,000; and I was on the board of Southern Rep, whose major fund raiser was one week before the Bridge House fund raiser. Both of these were in mid-April.

In early March I bean having chest pains periodically. What would happen was I would be going along, feeling okay, then all of a sudden this pain would grip the middle of my chest, it would hurt like hell for anywhere from 10-30 seconds, then go away and I would feel fine. Actually, I would feel better than fine; I would feel great. It was a particularly stressful period so I chalked it up to that.

On the day of the Cochon Cotillion we were setting up for the event that night and I had a pain and it was so bad that I had to stop what I was doing and sit down for a few minutes. The pain went away, as usual, but it left me feeling weak. Brian was there and started in on me, sounding very concerned and bugging me to make an appointment to get it checked out. So I called and actually set up an appointment for the following Thursday to see my primary care physician.

Never Made It

Unfortunately, I never made it to the appointment. The Monday night/Tuesday morning of the week of my appointment, I woke up at 4 in the morning with severe pain that wouldn't go away, plus sweating like a stuck pig and my entire left arm numb. I tried to call my sister, who lived next door to me, but she didn't answer, so I called 911. They took me to Ochsner Hospital in Jefferson where I was wheeled into the emergency room.

They put me into an examination room and nurses started hooking me up to various machines, etc. and sticking me with needles. I started to calm down and actually feel silly that I even bothered to come to the ER. My last thought was that they must have given me something to put me to sleep because I all of a sudden felt like taking a nap and just lay back, letting the darkness overtake me.

The Harsh Truth

Have you ever seen one of those medical shows where they show you someone being wheeled on a gurney, and then they show you what it looks like from the patient’s perspective? You see a fluorescent light, then a ceiling tile, then a light, then a tile, light, tile, light, tile, and it gets faster and faster. That’s the next thing I remember, then they busted through a door and it’s brighter and colder than any room I’ve ever been in. I’m lying flat on my back and I can hear people talking anxiously. Then a face appears over mine. It’s the face of an attractive young lady with a forced smile, and she said, “how are you doing?”

I replied, “Well, I’m still in pain but otherwise okay.”

She said, “You gave us quite a scare there.”

Turns out I “coded,” which means that my heart stopped beating and I was, in effect, dying. I blacked out during this, and then they had to shock me back to life. The reality didn’t sink in then, all I knew was that I was in pain and I was cold and I was aggravated. The bright, cold room I was in was a trauma room, and the attractive young lady was the attending physician.

Next thing you know the room is filled with cardiologists; it surprised me how many were on duty at 4:30 in the morning on a Tuesday but there they were. I guess they don't get many 34 year olds dying from heart attacks in the ER so I was kind of a novelty for them. One of them sat on the gurney and explained to me that I'd suffered a massive heart attack and most likely had severe blockage in one or more arteries and they were going to have to put a stent in me and blah, blah, blah. The whole time I'm thinking that I just want to get out of there and how I had three meetings that day and finally I blurted out, "Does that mean I have to stay here all day?"

The doctor was kind of taken aback with that and replied, “Yes, you’re going to be here for awhile.”

It was then that I noticed my brother Robby in the room and he came over, took my hand, and asked me how I was feeling. Shortly after my mom and sister Ka arrived. Mom looked good but haggard. My brother and sister just looked relieved.

They took me upstairs and performed several diagnostic tests, which revealed that I had 80% blockage in one artery and almost 60% blockage in a second. The doctors explained to me that they were going to put a stent into me. According to Yahoo Health, “A stent is a small, coiled wire-mesh tube. During a procedure called angioplasty, the stent is inserted into a blood vessel and expanded using a small balloon. A stent is used to open a narrowed or clotted blood vessel, most often an artery in the heart.”

The doctors were all very nice to me, very good people, and very professional. About 6:00 that morning, I underwent the procedure to unclog the 80% blocked artery.

The Ungrateful

After the procedure they put me into the Cardiac Care Unit and informed me that I had to spend 5 hours lying flat on my back because the balloon was still in me. Apparently they can’t take it out right away because of the risk of bleeding, so they need to let the stent set before they take the balloon out.

Well, I was having none of that. I was very uncomfortable and I like to shift around a lot when I’m lying in bed, so that’s what I started doing. It was then that I met my CCU nurse, Darlene. Darlene was a mid-40ish black woman whom I would vote for for president were she ever to run. I swear she could affect world peace in less time than it takes Condi Rice to put on her makeup. I look back on it now and I was a son-of-a-bitch the entire time I was in CCU. I was pissed off, not understanding what was happening to me, uncooperative, complaining, sick, just in the worst shape I’d ever been in in my life. Darlene and I fought many battles, and she won every single one without ever raising her voice, demanding my cooperation, or even agitating me beyond what I was when I came to her. How she did it I still have no idea. The woman is a genius, and I hope that she is well and that she is being paid what she is worth.

I didn’t want to lie still. She got me to agree to lie still. I didn’t want to use a bedpan. She got me to use a bedpan. I didn’t want to stay in the bed. She got me to stay in the bed. And she was just as pleasant as can be the entire time she was handling me, and polite to my mom and sister and all my visitors.

Oh yeah, that first day I had tons of visitors. I can’t even remember who all came, but there was a steady stream in and out almost from the time I got into the room. Later I found out what happened. My sister called my coworker Ken, who called my coworker Rico, who knew a lot of my friends, and so e-mails began to fly, and word began to spread.

The first visitors were actually hospital employees. Ken’s wife is a wound care and catheter specialist at the hospital, and she came to see me right away. Bette has always been one of my favorite people, and she was able to cheer me up right away. My coworker Kurt’s partner Greg was in charge of the blood bank at the hospital and he came up and said hello. My friend Mark’s coworker Sean’s wife Kendra was a neurology nurse and there she was. I swear I’m not making any of this up. Darlene actually came in at one point and said, “Wow, you know all the important people.”

Epiphany

The stream of visitors kept up the entire morning. I can’t even name all of the people that stopped by, there were so many. I felt bad that there they were and all I could do was lie there on my back and repeat the same story over and over, but that’s all I could do. After the doctor finally came in and took the balloon out I was able to sit up and move around a bit. The dietician came by to meet with me along with the cardiac rehabilitation specialist. They were a bit taken aback by the numbers of people coming in to see me and tried to tell my mother that I shouldn’t be having so many visitors and that I should just rest. I didn’t like either of them one bit. They were snotty so I was snotty right back. At one point when the dietician was talking to me, the phone rang, and I answered it right there in front of her!

What they didn’t realize was that I was not in charge of the situation. Darlene was. She could have cut off the visitors at any time, but she never did. She told me later that she was monitoring my heart rate the entire time. When it was just me lying there by myself, my heart rate was all over the place, and it concerned her. Whenever there was a visitor in the room, my heart rate would even out and be steady. That’s why she never denied a visitor coming into the room.

Well, I remained in CCU Tuesday night and Wednesday night. Finally on Thursday they moved me to a regular room. The visitors had gradually slacked off, and by Thursday there were just a few. I had a long time to sit there in my room and think. It overwhelmed me how many people had taken time out of their days to come visit me when I was sick.

Yes, it took me awhile to fully grasp the seriousness of the situation, but once I did, I realized how close I came to never seeing anyone I cared about, ever again. I started thinking about my nieces and nephews, my Mom, my sister and brothers, my cousins, aunts, uncles, my friends, all the things I want to accomplish in my life, and how little I actually had accomplished, and I became determined to live each day to the fullest, to stop caring about things that don't matter and instead focus on what does matter.

If I had died that morning in the ER, nobody would remember how much money I had, what books I read, what kind of car I drove, what kind of shoes I wore, what I watched on television, how clean my house was, what I ate, what kind of vodka I served, anything like that. What they would remember is how I made them feel when we were together, if I made them laugh, if I succeeded in uplifting them, the kinds of things I made them think about and consider in their own lives.

The Release

On Friday they sent me home. My cardiologist, Dr. Milani, came in and announced, "Well, you're out of here.” Dr. Milani was very pleasant. I liked him a lot. Only later did I find out that he’s one of the head cardiologists at Ochsner. A month later I had to go back and have the second stent placed for the 60% blocked artery. They can’t do two of them at the same time. The second time it only involved a night’s stay in a regular room.

On the morning after the second stent was put in, 6 or so of the resident cardiologists came in to check on me. I’d had a refill of one of my prescriptions and it didn’t look the same as the first pill, so I asked if they had a PDR to check to make sure it was the right pill. They all got very excited, got the PDR, and we were all poring over it when Dr. Milani walked in. It was as though the pope walked into a room of parish priests. They all stopped talking, stepped back, and kind of bowed their heads as Dr. Milani walked over to me and asked what was going on. I replied that I was concerned about one of my medications and we were checking the PDR. He leaned over, looked at my pill, and said, “It’s fine.” That ended the debate.

The Aftermath

So that’s the story. I spent a couple of months in pain, died in the most fortunate of places, and came out of it with a new sense of myself, determined to make every interaction a positive one, uplifted by the people I cared about.

Scott wasn't one of the lucky ones; neither was Jes-Z. In many ways I feel like I should have been the unlucky one; after all, I had the warnings and chose to ignore them. I'm not sure about Scott, but I know that Jes-Z had no warnings. He and I talked about my situation quite a bit, and I told him the warning signs that I ignored. He always asked how I was doing, and I know that if he had experienced any of the things I told him I went through, he would have been alarmed and checked in with his doctor. He just went, right there in his go-cart in the middle of the day in Chicago. I think I owe it to guys like Scott and Jes to appreciate life for as long as I am granted it, and to treat those around me in a way that will make their lives better. When I was a senior in high school, a Christian Brother challenged us to ask the "question" in all of our dealings with others. I can't remember if he called it the "ultimate question" or what, but it went, "Will this decision help me (and others) to become more fully human or less fully human?" It's one of the few things from high school that I actually remember as relevant to my life, and I wish I knew where Brother Bill was now to thank him for it, because it guides me every day in every one of my interactions with other people.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Marcus & Monkey

Did some decorating for Halloween today. Yesterday Bill strung up some ghost lights, some skeleton lights, and a big purple-lighted spider web. Today I mowed the lawn and then set up the big, obnoxious inflatable jack-o-lantern with ghosts on top. It was a bit difficult at first; since it was so windy the thing kept falling over, but I was able to get it tethered and now it looks great. It’s bottom-heavy so it stays standing. Some of these things are top-heavy, like our neighbors’ across the street, and so keep falling down even when tethered. We got lucky with our thing; we had no idea what we were getting into. But now I know if I ever buy another one, to make sure that it inflates wider at the bottom than on top. I don’t care how nice the top-heavy ones look, just seeing poor Nancy have to deal with hers when they fall almost every day makes me determined to keep mine as low-maintenance as possible!

I also planted Marcus today. Marcus the Carcass is a cute little guy who looks like he’s rising from your lawn. It’s a lighted ghoul in five pieces—the head, the hands, and the feet. You arrange the parts on your lawn as if the ghoul is rising from the ground. He’s really neat. The little boy next door thought he was cool, so that’s all the validation I need! I’ll try to get some pictures to post later this week.

The Monkey is off the Saints' back!! Even though it looked like, toward the end of the game, they were trying to give it away. But they won this game like they won most of their games last season, by getting an early lead and then just pounding away and pounding away, gaining yards, getting first downs, scoring enough to stay ahead, and capitalizing on a little luck along the way. They just need to settle down and play their game and not try to be too fancy.

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Weekly Roundup


RIP, Jes-Z
Heart attack blamed in go-cart racer's death
Got some sad news today. My friend Jes-Z was participating in a “team building” exercise in Chicago when he apparently suffered a heart attack and died. He crashed the go-cart, but it was into a padded wall so they’re pretty sure it was the angina that did it and not the accident. He and I were both involved with Bridge House, an intensive drug and alcohol rehab program for indigents. Jes-Z gave many, many hours and dollars to keep the program running. Bless you, my friend. You will be greatly missed.
(Chicago Tribune)

The Case Against Indulgence
Prosecutor: Mom bought weapons for boy
She bought her son guns and grenades because he was “sad.” What would she have bought him if he were angry? Uzi? AK47? What a total moron. Lock her up and throw away the key.
(CNN)

There’s a New Janitor in Town
Polls: Jindal leads Louisiana governor's race
Kathleen “Babooneaux” Blanco decided she didn’t want to clean up the mess she and her administration made of the handling of Katrina and the aftermath. Now, it looks like the guy she beat four years ago is the odds makers’ favorite to continue what she started.
(Reuters)

A Convenient Truth
Gore and U.N. Panel Win Peace Prize for Climate Work
How many awards will one guy win for being a mouthpiece? It’s not like Al invented global warming, he just helps it along a bit by riding in limousines to pick up his awards and flying in jets all over the world to let us know how bad we are for the environment. Oh, and he makes a decent living at it, too.
(NY Times)

Free to Go
Guards Acquitted in Boot Camp Case
I don’t know how this young man died, but does everything nowadays have to be about race? And that lawyer is pretty cheap, comparing the young man’s unfortunate demise to Michael Vick’s heinous crimes. Loser!
(Associated Press)

I Wonder if She Breastfeeds
Britney Spears Receives Modified Visitation Rules for Her Children
This is something my parents never had to worry about. Britney’s own children can actually spend the night at her house. Score!
(VOA News)

German Hoofers
Deutsche Bahn says strike disrupts commuter traffic across Germany
If you’re heading to Germany in the next few days, I’d definitely plan on doing some walking, or perhaps rent a bike. They’ve come a long way since the Third Reich.
(Forbes)

Maybe This was Leona Helmsley’s Problem
FDA to investigate report on lead levels in lipstick
Take note ladies: your Maybelline might be killing you.
(USA Today)

I Just Figured there was Too Much Lead in Her Lipstick
The Truth About Anna Nicole Smith’s Doctors
Stop the presses!! Anna Nicole Smith was on drugs!!! Seriously, if you were that concerned about her, wouldn’t you try to intervene before she died rather than investigating after? You can do whatever you want to the doctor, you’re never going to bring Anna Nicole back.
(FOX News)

Stop! Or Granny Will Shoot!
Oldest Female Inmate, 93, Ready To Leave Prison
Dick Cheney should take her on a hunting trip to celebrate her newfound freedom.
(WCCO)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Tales of the T




In the Boston area, we are fortunate (?) to be served by the MBTA, the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority. Boston is the first city to have been served by a subway; the system opened in 1897. But, of course, the system has been modernized since then. Based on the way the system operates today, I’d say the last modernization probably occurred no later than 1921 or so, making it a marvel of modern-day subway transportation.

Locals call the MBTA system the “T” for short

Led by General Manager Daniel Grabauskas, whose claim to fame other than the fact that the letters in his name can be rearranged to spell “skid rag anal abuse,” served as Massachusetts Transportation Secretary under Future Former Presidential Also-Ran Governor Mitt “Whom I’m Talking To Dictates My Beliefs Today” Romney, the MBTA is run by a group of highly paid professionals so totally inept that you would swear it’s probably part of the federal government’s Welfare to Work program in which they give jobs to people whose sole activity for most of their adult lives was figuring out how to avoid work. This skill comes in very handy as an employee of the MBTA. But that will be another blog entry for another day. From time to time I will entertain you with stories about the MBTA. I hope my peeps in New Orleans especially enjoy this since down there, we have NO public transportation to speak of. The grass ain’t always so much greener, my friends.

So we’ll get to some engaging stories about MBTA professionals another time. Today I’d like to focus on:

Cleanliness on the T

There are signs on every train that say the following verbatim: “Your tax dollars pay to clean this vehicle. Please do your part by removing your items upon departure.”

Does this seem contradictory to you? I can never figure out why they bother to put in the line about the tax dollars. That puzzles me. Because to me, if I’ve paid my taxes, then I’ve already done “my part.”

A lot of other people must feel exactly as I do, because I’ve seen some total slobs on the T.

Gum Disposal
Once there was a mother and a little boy, around 7, standing next to me. The boy was chewing gum. The boy looks up at his mother and said, “Mommy, this gum don’t have no more flavor,” and then he spit the gum right on the floor! I looked down and it missed my shoe by like an inch & a half. I looked at the mother, incredulous. Her only reaction was to shake her head and with an amused smile, say, “Oh, Demetrius!” Then she reached into her purse and gave him another piece!!

He unwrapped the piece, put it in his mouth, and dropped the wrapper right next to the chewed up piece on the floor. I looked from the chewed piece, to the wrapper, to the boy, to the mother. Could they not make the connection that not littering would only have entailed wrapping the chewed piece in the wrapper from the new piece and holding it until they got off the train?

Mickey D’s
A couple of months ago I was riding during a rather slow time of day where there weren’t too many people on the train. There was a late-teens, early-twentyish girl sitting across from me eating McDonald’s chicken nuggets and French fries. As I looked at her, I started thinking that there is no way this girl is going to take her trash with her. I don’t know what made me think that; she just looked like the type that is all wrapped up in herself and wouldn’t care enough to bring her trash with her off the train.

She finished her food, crumpled her napkin up into the nuggets box, crumpled that up and put it in the fries container, then put the whole kit ‘n caboodle (what’s a caboodle?) into the bag, crumpled the bag and continued to hold it for several more stops. I felt like an ass. Here I was, making judgments about this girl based solely on how she looks, the fact that she was dressed kind of trashy, had a few weird looking tattoos showing, some piercings, and a look on her face like she couldn’t care less about anything. Obviously this girl, however she may look, had enough character to clean up after herself so that others on the train wouldn’t have to look at her trash, and an employee of the MBTA wouldn’t have to walk past it as he or she was supposed to be cleaning the train.

At her stop, she started to gather up her knapsack and stand up as she prepared to depart the train. We made eye contact and I gave a little smile and nod, and she nodded back. I felt bad that I had judged this girl, and then after the doors opened, right before she was about to leave the train, lo and behold she drops the bag on the floor of the train! She then walks out swiftly, having to shift her hips about two feet off the train in order to avoid bumping into a trashcan!!

Can you believe this? She holds the trash in her hand for about six or seven stops and then, about four feet from a trashcan, just throws the stuff on the floor! Why am I surprised?

Ground Coffee
It is not, however, only the grungy-looking teenagers and ignorant mothers with little kids who make messes on the T. Today there was a man dressed nicely in a tie and slacks drinking his Dunkin Donuts coffee obviously on his way to work. He got to his stop, the Back Bay, which is a pretty popular stop in the morning being in the heart of the downtown business district. As he was standing to exit the train, he dropped his coffee. At first I thought he was done and just a litterer, but now I think it might have just slipped from his hands because there was A LOT of coffee left in this cup. The coffee of course splashed all over the place and got onto another guy’s pants, which guy immediately started yelling at the guy with the coffee.

So you probably think that they guy with the coffee was mortified, picked up the cup and apologized profusely, right? You probably also think that little green men from Mars control the changing of the seasons. No, the guy just spat back, “F--- you!” to the guy onto whom he just spilled coffee, left the cup on the floor of the train and walked off. The guy with the ruined pants followed him off. The last I saw of them was when the train was pulling away. The two of them were still standing on the platform, faces mere molecules apart, spitting “F--- yous!” at each other while the MBTA policeman, obviously in full control of the situation, sat about 10 feet away flipping through his copy of Boston Common magazine.

Just another day on the T, my friends.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Weather & Music

It’s going to be a cold, wet week. And I mean that in only the happiest way possible. We’ve gone without a good soaking here for months, and it’s about time it got nice and cool.

I know I’m weird, but I actually can’t wait until it starts snowing. It’s just so nice, the first snowfall of the season and all that. I guess I haven’t gone through enough winters up here yet to be over it, or maybe I never will. I’ve always been a warm-blooded animal and like to keep things cold. Unfortunately, Bill enjoys keeping things warm so as you can imagine, there are some compromises that have to be made.

Busy time coming up here. As most of you know, I work for the Boston Philharmonic. Our season-opening concerts are coming up next week. Our first performance is at Mechanics Hall in Worcester, a good hour’s or more drive away. It’s a beautiful facility, but an extra concert makes for a long week. We’re giving the US premiere of a piece that our concertmistress commissioned, a concerto for violin and tabla.

The piece is incredible; I’ve had the cd in my car for a few months now and I can’t stop listening to it. It’s called Svara-Yantra and it’s by Shirish Korde, a Boston composer of Indian descent. He’s a really nice guy. Whatever happened to the eccentric composers?

We’ve also got Musorgsky’s Pictures at a Exhibition for good measure. Sometimes new music doesn’t sell as well as the old favorites so we paired a crowd favorite with the blockbuster. The concerts are doing pretty well, but we’re concerned that Red Sox games might overlap with a couple of the concerts. Unless the Sox sweep the Indians, the final games are going to coincide with our concerts, so even if seats are sold there’s a chance they won’t be filled. And that would be a shame.

In honor of the Yankees being knocked out of the postseason, here are the final two stories sent to me by Kendra. My favorite is the last one. Go Red Sox!

Four baseball fans - a Cubs fan, a Cardinals fan, a Red Sox fan, and a Yankees fan - are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Cubs fan insists he is the most loyal.

"This is for the Cubs!" he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.

Not to be outdone, the Cardinals fan shouts, "This is for the Cardinals!" and throws himself off the mountain.

The Red Sox fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for everyone!" and pushes the Yankees fan off the mountain.

------------------------

A Red Sox fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Yankees fan he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest.

"Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Yankees fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time.

Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. Not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Yankees fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Two Outta Three Ain't Bad

When I woke up this morning, I wanted three things to happen. There were some other, secondary, things I wanted to happen, too, but there were three main things I wanted to happen.

-the Saints to beat the Panthers
-the Sox to beat the Angels
-the Patriots to beat the Browns

It also wouldn’t have been bad if the Indians beat the Yankees, if the Titans beat the Falcons, if the Colts beat the Buccaneers, and if someone would figure out how to get this dangummed noise off my TV!!!!

Well, the Indians didn’t beat the Yankees which means that the series moves forward to another game. What that means for you is that you don’t get another Yankees story tonight. Sorry. But if it’s any consolation, Joe Torre might get to keep his job. We really don’t need the unemployment rate to go up, do we?

The Titans beat the Falcons and the Colts beat the Buccaneers, so there’s that. I’ll get to the TV thing in a bit.

But let’s talk about the Saints. I don’t know if they have it. I don’t think they have it. By all accounts, they played a good game. They beat the Panthers in almost every facet of the game, except for the final score. Almost 100 more passing yards, more rushing yards, two fourth down conversions, better third down conversions, time of possession. If you looked at the stats of this game without the score, you would conclude the Saints had to have won. But they didn’t. They can’t make it happen. They choke in the critical moments. They don’t convert all these great stats into points. Unfortunately, the score is all that matters at the end. And the season only gets tougher from here.

But at least the Red Sox are moving on to the next phase of the playoffs and, hopefully, ultimately the series. They played a great game and nothing bad happened even after putting Gagne in. And, of course, the Patriots did what everyone expected them to do, beat the Browns decisively.

So, like Marvin Lee Aday (at least that’s what his mama calls him) so eloquently sings, “Two outta three ain’t bad.”

I promise I’m not all about sports. That’s just what happens to be on my mind tonight because there was so much going on today.

We finally got that annoying noise off the TV!!!!! No, it didn’t just happen. Bill’s friend Dave (the one who sold us the TV) came over this morning and figured it out. His new nickname is SuperDave. Basically what he did was (let me know if I’m getting too technical here), he switched one thingy with another thingy, and next you know, the noise is gone! Sometimes you just accept what is, you don’t ask questions.

The Comeback Kids!!

What a game! What would you think about a team if, knowing nothing else, I told you that they only led for one minute and nine seconds against Florida? You would probably think they lost, right? Well, tonight LSU only led for one minute and nine seconds. Luckily, they were the last minute and nine seconds!!

Beating the national champs definitely solidifies LSU’s place as the number 1 college team in the country. It’s entirely possible…I’m not saying anything, just that it’s POSSIBLE…that they will go undefeated this year. With the dismal performance the Saints are putting out there, it’s nice that at least one south Louisiana team is doing well this year.

Tomorrow the Saints play Carolina. Let’s hope that we can celebrate my new NFL Ticket with DirecTV with a WIN. Simple as that. Just win.

They’re trying to be too fancy this year. I mean, 4th and 2 inches at the 50 yard line and they go for the end zone? Just have Brees fall forward, for Chrissakes. In the Titans game, they pounded out a drive at the beginning of the second half, and they scored a touchdown. That’s how they went to the NFC championship last year. Not with all this fancy crap. But they didn’t keep it up. And the defense needs some serious work.

But I can’t worry about all that tonight. Tonight is all about savoring the LSU victory. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Tomorrow will be a test of the old remote skills. We got the Saints, the Patriots, and the Red Sox all playing at the same time. But I think I’m up to it. I’ve got a PhD in remote controlology.

GO TIGERS!

Friday, October 5, 2007

The Weekly Roundup

I thought a fun little regular feature might be to gather up the interesting news headlines at the end of the week and do what professional journalists do; that is, to give you my biased and highly distorted views on what's going on in the world. I can't promise you that this will happen every Friday, but we'll see what comes of it.

Clothing Wars
New Jersey's Continental Arena to Become Izod Center
Never mind the airlines and the office supplies, it’s the sportswear companies that are taking over the stadiums now. They must sell a LOT of spandex to be able to afford this!
(Bloomberg)

Cautious Optimism
NHC sees no tropical cyclones in Gulf of Mexico
Good news from the hurricane center, at least for now. Only a few more weeks until we can all breathe easy again for awhile.
(Reuters)

There Goes the Beef
Meat Company Going Out of Business After Recall
Bad news for the Topps Meat Company, not to mention their suppliers. Some small towns are going to take a serious hit because of this.
(NY Times)

Hurts No Good
Secret U.S. Endorsement of Severe Interrogations
This is great news because, of course, the only way democracy can truly work is in secret. What kills me is, we can use whatever interrogation techniques we want unless they result in pain equaling “organ failure or even death.” How do you suggest we measure the “even death” part? Which dead person should we dig up first to ask them how much pain is too much? I love my country, but I’m mighty embarrassed by it sometimes.
(NY Times)

Holy Mackerel!
Fish Safe for Pregnant Women to Eat
Good news for all of my New Orleans ladies still in their child-bearing years!
(US News & World Report)

Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Craig's decision to stay a headache for GOP
I don’t know what to think about Larry Craig. I guess if David Vitter doesn’t have to resign for sleeping with prostitutes, why should Craig have to step down for waving his hand? Doesn’t make much sense, does it? I wonder if Larry belongs to the Homosexual Republicans Organization (motto: “We disapprove of our own lifestyle!”)
(CNN)

Where’s Horatio Caine When You Need Him?
Fourth bullet casing found on boat whose crew vanished
You just know a “ripped from the headlines” episode is in the works already.
(CNN)

Barry Bonds Gets to Keep His Asterisk, Right?
A look at the key figures in the BALCO steroids scandal
That’s a shame about Marion Jones; I always thought she was sincere. Normally, I think that people using drugs, performance-enhancing and otherwise, should just be left alone to suffer their Darwinian fate. But when there are competitions at stake, I guess you should try to make as level a playing field as possible while still promoting safe practices.
(USA Today)

Jimmy Carter Redux
Rice to Shuttle Between Israelis, Palestinians
Condi Rice is going over to referee between the Palestinians and the Israelis. Is it just me, or is the same thing happening to GW that happened to Clinton and Reagan? Seems like lately, after a president has served about seven years and has one left, suddenly he thinks he can bring about peace in the middle east. Is this another case of “legacy searching?”
(VOA News)

Oral Arguments
Scandal Brewing at Oral Roberts
When Lindsay Roberts, wife of Oral Roberts’ University’s President and CEO Richard Roberts who is the son of founder Oral, has to put her Mercedes convertible in the shop, what does she do? Maybe she rolls her eyes and says, “I guess I’ll have to use the Lexus SUV this week.” But at least God told her husband that the allegations of her text messaging “underage males” is bogus.
(AP via Yahoo News)

Etc
In honor of the Yankees' second postseason loss, I will share with you the second story sent to me by the beautiful Kendra.

A family of New York Yankee fans headed out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boy's birthday. While in the sports shop the son picks up a Red Sox jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Red Sox fan and I would like this Boston Red Sox jersey for my birthday."

His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him upside his head and says, "Go talk to mother."

Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother. "Mom?"

"Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"

Off he goes with the Red Sox jersey in hand and finds his father. "Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."

The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son in the back of his head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"

The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."

"Good! And what is it you learned?"

The son replies, "I've only been a Red Sox fan for an hour and I already hate you Yankee bastards!"

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Candles, Cleveland, Cable & Cold

Celebrate Good Times, Come On

Thirty-six years ago, God saw fit to put on this earth a very special person who has become my closest friend. Happy birthday, Clemdawg! Here’s to many more.

October Madness

Everyone’s all in a tizz up here over the Red Sox. I gotta admit; I’m into it too. You just can’t help it being up here.

Right now we’re watching the Indians against the Yankees in Cleveland. I’ve been to that stadium. After the ASOL conference in 2004 in Pittsburgh we had to stay the weekend because of something involving flights, it’s a long and complicated story. Anyhow, the Pirates were away the entire time we were there so Ken got us tickets to the Indians-Reds game on Saturday night and we rented a car and spent the night in Cleveland. We had tickets right behind home plate! Problem was, they were about 184 rows up. But it was a great game and the stadium was packed.

Indians up 11-3 in the 7th. Hopefully they’ll keep it up. Almost as much as we love the Red Sox, we hate the Yankees.

This reminds me of a story that Kendra sent me. She actually sent four, but I’m only going to post them one at a time.

----------------

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans. Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise,"Dakota, why didn't you raise your hand?"

"Because I'm not a Yankees fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan of?"

"I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Dakota replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Dakota, why pray tell are you a Red Sox fan?"

"Because my mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan, so I'm a Red Sox fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"

"Then," Dakota smiled, "I'd be a Yankees fan."

Hehe!

---------------------

The Saga Continues

Well, the guy who came this morning says that he thinks that the problem is with the TV input. Of course, this guy was from DirecTV. I’m sure if the Mitsubishi guy was here, he’d have told me that something is wrong with the DirecTV output. If they were both here at the same time, I don’t know, the problem probably would lie with the US Department of Indian Affairs or some such. I swear, people who don’t know what the problem is spend so much energy on trying to place blame somewhere that lets them off the hook; if they channeled that energy into trying to figure out the problem instead of passing the buck they would probably rule the world.

What is wrong with saying “I don’t know?” The smartest people that I know very rarely tell me things. Instead, they’re always asking questions, trying to learn more so that they can figure things out.

So now I’ve posted a question on a DirecTV user group. Hopefully somebody there can help. Otherwise, you will see me slowly going insane more and more every time I change the channel. I know most of you are saying, “too late!”

Etc

I’m getting excited about the LSU game Saturday. Go Tigers!!!

This weekend I get to repair a fence post, decorate for Halloween and hopefully see the Saints win.

Weather in Stoneham is like summer the next two days. What’s that all about? I moved up here to get COLD, darnit!

On the bright side, the leaves are starting to change and we’ll have a great show coming up here shortly.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Welcome to my Blog!

Thanks for visiting. Why did I start this, you might ask? Well, it’s something I’ve been thinking of doing for awhile now and a few people have said they think I’d be good at it. So we’ll see. The problem is that I’m so lazy I hope I actually update this thing on a regular basis!

I have no idea what form this blog will take. I have some ideas but we’ll see what works and doesn’t. Right now I’m thinking it will be a blend of stories of the exciting, interesting, ordinary, mundane, and boring happenings that make up my day to day life; commentary on political and social issues; anecdotes of good times with family and friends; and whatever random thoughts happen to float into my head at any given moment.

One thing I promise you, dear reader, is that I will do everything it takes to live up to the line underneath my photo. I am, indeed, just the guy who does the thing.

So what’s up with me? Well, I think that the drawn-out saga of switching from Comcast cable to DirecTV HD might finally be coming to an end. But I wouldn’t count on it. Here’s the story:

I am from New Orleans, and I now live in Stoneham, MA with Bill. All my life I’ve been a Saints fan, and of course their games aren’t broadcast where I live, so I wanted to get NFL Ticket. Unfortunately, Bill had Comcast and NFL Ticket is only available through DirecTV. Last year I didn’t even think of it until too late, and of course the Saints go on to the NFC championship game. This season I made sure to find out all of the information and order the new system before the season started. Unfortunately, getting this thing up and running has been a one-legged bitch from beginning to end.

We had a 32-inch regular old TV in the living room and Bill wanted service to the bedroom and I wanted it downstairs in the cellar. So we ordered ordinary old DirecTV service and three boxes. Then we went to Circuit City in New Hampshire where one of Bill’s old employees is the manager. Bill wanted to get another computer for his store (http://www.stonehamsportscenter.com/). While we were there, we figured why not look at some HD TVs and see what kind of deal we can get? Dave (Bill’s friend) always gets us good deals on merchandise that is nearly new and returned.

When we told Dave that we just ordered DirecTV, he rolled his eyes and said that we should have called him. Circuit City has this deal with DTV that the store gets compensated for signing people up for the service and CC passes on part of this as $300 off any HDTV priced at $1000 or more when you sign up through them. Dang!

Anyhow, we looked at plenty of TVs and finally settled on a couple of 40-42 inchers that we both agreed on. Unfortunately, Dave didn’t have any in returns so we were debating on whether to pay full price. We had figured out that if we got an HD TV, we’d have to cancel our DTV order and then reorder HD since they’re two different things. So we were going to get the $300 off of the price of a TV. We asked Dave what he had in “open boxes.” That’s what they call the returned merchandise that’s discounted. He said nothing close to what we were looking at but he did have a 57-incher that was the same as he has at his house and he sang its praises.

I can’t speak for Bill, but no way did I ever think we’d be considering a 57-inch TV. But there we were and with the open box deal and the extra off from the DirecTV deal we ended up getting it for less than we would have spent on the 40-42-inch sets we were looking at.

So our installation appointment had to be pushed back since we changed the order to high-def. They sent a survey guy out to check the signal and he got up on the roof and said that there was no HD signal, because of a big tree across the street from the house. Did no one explain to the HD folks that trees exist in nature when they were developing this technology? Unbelievable! But there it was, so we canceled the HD order and reordered regular DTV, and our appointment got pushed back again.

On the date of the actual installation, the installer was a guy from DirecTV, not just a contract surveyor, and he claimed that he was getting a great HD signal! But we had waited long enough, so he went ahead and installed regular feed DTV and that was that.

Except that the regular feed reception sucks on the 57-inch high def. Bill arrived home that night and declared that regular feed simply wasn’t going to work so he called and ordered the HD feed. We were going to Dev’s in Ohio for his 40th birthday weekend so we had to wait another 1½ weeks for the HD. Well, the HD was finally installed on Tuesday and all is right with the world!

Except that when you switch from one channel to another, there’s this awful half-hissing, half humming sound that the TV makes until it settles on the other channel. And when you hit a channel that we don’t get, the sound stays on. And it’s really loud and really obnoxious so we very much want to get rid of it. Bill called and now there’s another guy coming tomorrow to try and fix the thing.

All this and the Saints have started off an impressive 0-3. Why did I go through all this?

Well, now that all of your insomnia has been cured for the night I will sign off now.

Visit often. I promise you that it’s entirely possible that some of the stories will be much more interesting than this one.

Geaux Sox!