Friday, December 21, 2007

The Weekly Roundup

First up tonight, a little self-deprecating humor:

And now, on to more serious topics:
Next, Please
Gates warns of Al Qaeda shift
They’re getting bored of terrorizing the same boring old Afgahnis and have now turned their attention to the chaos that is Pakistan. They're working their way across the middle east while we're all focused on Iraq.
(Los Angeles Times)

Sick Joke?
Giuliani keen to fight back after reverses
Is it just me, or is Rudy Giuliani’s campaign becoming a joke? Scandals, corruption, and now illness. And this has been a good week! Take three aspirin, get some new campaign advisors, and call me in the morning.
(Financial Times)

Want To Know Why This Man Is Smiling?
Goldman Awards Blankfein a Record $67.9 Million Bonus
Disappointed with your year-end bonus? You obviously haven’t screwed enough middle class home-mortgage holders out of their hard earned money. Mark this under “room for improvement” on your 2007 performance review.

This Can’t Be Good
North Korean Tubes Found to Be Contaminated With Uranium Traces
They claim that they’ve never had an enriched uranium program, and after this, they got some “’splainin’” to do? We need to send these US arms control officers to better schools so they learn how to talk good. But then, if North Korea has the bomb, it won’t matter for too much longer, now will it?

You Take My Wife…Please!
Save the World: Elect My Wife
Let’s see, this republic has survived Martin Van Buren, John Tyler, James K. Polk, James Buchanan, Warren G. Harding, Herbert Hoover, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter and, most recently, at least seven years of George W. Bush, yet the whole thing will go to pieces if we don’t elect Hillary??? Bill, Bill, Bill. You’re so transparent. If there is anyone out there who doesn’t know exactly why Mr. Clinton wants his wife to win the White House, let me know, and I'll "'splain'" it to ya!
(Washington Post)

Falling Down
The New Orleans City Council voted to demolish upwards of 4,500 project units amid much protest. What they are protesting I really can’t fathom. The buildings sat in feet and feet of muck and guck for weeks and are condemned, people! New Orleans absolutely cannot support people who do nothing but sponge off the government (read: other people’s money). New Orleans needs to build infrastructure to support people who are coming to work and help in the rebuilding. My friend Mark wrote a great letter to the New York Times about this issue. Let me know if you want to read it and I’ll send it to you.

Flaming Wood
Fire damages Cheney's ceremonial offices near White House
There’s this scene in The West Wing where Josh and Sam set off the smoke alarms trying to light a fire in the Mural Room fireplace. The president is trying to get a precious few hours’ sleep, but of course has to be awoken. Charlie calls him and says, “Mr. President, you know how you told me not to wake you unless the building was on fire…?”
(Boston Globe)

Hurling Rock
Big asteroid on collision course with Mars
Those little green men better get themselves underground, pretty quick.
(TG Daily)

Papelbon’s Pesky Pooch
Jonathan Papelbon's dog takes a bite of World Series history
Get real now, Jonny: Your third grade math teacher didn’t buy it, and I’m not buying it either.
(The Canadian Press)

Unplanned Parenthood
Spears' Baby Daddy Reportedly Ready to Settle Down
The uproar over Jamie Lynn Spears and her pregnancy is puzzling to me. Don’t people realize that 16 year olds get pregnant every day in this country? Wake up people! Why do we care so much about THIS pregnancy? Think about it.
(ABC News)

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

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