Friday, April 16, 2010

The Weekly Roundup

Ashen Grounding
Volcanic eruption grounds thousands of fliers across Europe
It’s a shame that all these people are stuck wherever they are, but that is probably preferable to glass forming in the engine blocks and the planes crashing into the oceans, the mountains, or whatever terrains they happen to be over at the time. Right?
Washington Post

Busting Billionaires’ Bundled Bad Bond Bets
A Wall Street Invention That Let the Crisis Mutate
So let me get this straight. They put all their bad debts into one fund, then told a whole bunch of people to buy them. Then the value increased and they told a whole nother bunch of people to buy them, while at the same time telling the first group of people to sell them, knowing that the whole thing would go south and people would lose a crapload of money and the banks would be able to cry poormouth and then get over $700 billion of bailout money. All this going on right under the noses of the SEC. Wow, these regulators sure deserve kudos, huh? I guess it’s understandable, though. This is obviously a complex and highly sophisticated scheme that is at least an entire generation beyond, “hey, I bet I can tell you where you got them shoes!”
New York Times

Visiting Hours
Hospital directive gives gays a victory without the fight
You can’t marry nor serve openly in the military, but get this: you can visit one another in the hospital. Oh, and so can everyone else. Score!
Los Angeles Times

Here We Go Again
IDF troops kill Palestinian in clashes at Gaza border
Even with all the signs of the Armageddon—the earthquakes, volcanoes, fires, tornadoes, hurricanes, explosions on the sun, atmospheric irregularity, global warming—Hamas and Israel just won’t give up until they kill each other with guns.

Love That Dirty Water
Ex-Blackwater president charged in firearms case
Well, when you tour the Budweiser brewery you get free beer. When you tour the Hershey factory you get free chocolate. When you tour the greenhouse you get a free seedling. What do you expect to get when you tour the Blackwater facility?

Perhaps The Worst Human Being In The World
Police: Man tortured 4-year-old to death for wetting his pants
Life in prison is way too good for this man. This person would bring down the curve for the entire prison population. What should happen is, this guy should be sentenced to die by the exact method that he used to kill this innocent little boy, except that however long it took him to kill the boy, the sentence should be carried out in double the amount of time. I would gladly pay my own way to wherever he is to be a volunteer executioner. What kind of family is this, anyhow? Too bad the mother’s sister and her friends didn’t start jonesing for their drugs earlier in the day or the boy might have survived. Unbelievable.

Stand And Be Counted
Low Census Response Rate Will Cost Tax Dollars
It’s official: people will politicize EVERYTHING. The constitution mandates that everyone be counted every ten years. If you don’t like the way it is done or do not agree with the results, work to change the process or amend the constitution. But does EVERYTHING have to lead to accusations and counteraccusations between “liberals” and “conservatives?” I mean, seriously.

King’s Ransom
Lawyer Doubts Larry King and Wife Will Reconcile
Well, if the lawyer’s saying it, it must be true. Is Larry trying to catch up with Lizzy Taylor? All the news you need to know…

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