What's In My Inbox

Good evening. We all get stuff over e-mail that is worth sharing. For my money, 99% of the jokes, political messages, religious messages, friendship ditties, and that stupid thing where Bill Gates is going to pay me like a hundred million dollars for clicking on a link are pretty benign. Rarely, however, something clever catches my eye. I can never be sure that the people who supposedly wrote these actually wrote these or how many edits they go through before they get to me, so I can’t warranty that any of this is true, so I hereby release myself from all responsibility for anything that may or may not happen to you ever in your life. Your further reading of my blog, indifferent to the fact that you may or may not have read this particular entry, indicates your acceptance of these terms. There, that should cover it.

What I can promise you, however, is that I will post e-mails that I receive exactly as they are sent to me. I will not edit the text of any e-mail before posting it on this blog. That I can assure you. I may feel the urge to comment within the text of the e-mail. If I add comments, I will add them in different color text and notify you in the post.

And it won’t just be the forwarded generic things that I will post. From time to time I might post an especially funny, moving, or insightful personal message. If I do that, I will not identify the author without first notifying him or her. So be forewarned if you decide to send me e-mail, that your e-mail might end up being read by a worldwide audience of four or five!

For our first installment of WIMI, I’ve chosen a new take on these “look what kids wrote” kind of things. I’ve never seen this one before. If you have, oh well. I apologize. Just go on to the next thing you have to do. I never promised original entries every time. Who am I, William Safire?

But I digress. Some of these are pretty clever. I particularly enjoyed Kelvin’s answer, the last one. Enjoy!

PS OK I just realized that Bill Gates actually could give me several million dollars just for clicking on a link and it would be to him as it is to me when a quarter falls through a spot in my car and I don’t even bother to go after it. Now I’m irritated.

Anyhow, enjoy the post:

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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (Written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.- Martin, age 10 (very perceptive!)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich. - Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Ricky, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Kelvin, age 10